My Health Journey: Learning to be Self Disciplined

 

It’s been several weeks since my last health journey update and y’all, I am pretty sure I was on the verge of a breakdown. After my aunt passed away, a host of family emergencies and personal obligations all fell into my lap at the same exact moment, making my brain swell and overload. I had to stop everything, took a day to process it, got my big girl panties on and sucked it up.

I’m grateful to say everything is more even keel (at least for now) but I must admit, there is a pattern that even I can’t deny; When things feel out of my control, I let my emotions consume every other part of my life and that is my biggest downfall. That old saying, 'You are your own worst enemy' is inherently accurate.

The 75 Hard Challenge proved to be more than I was ready for and after restarting three times in two weeks, it was obvious I wasn’t ready to commit. Scratch the challenge, for now, I need to work on breaking some habits that were less than stellar for helping me achieve my goals.

Here are the habits I need break:

-        Not having a daily routine.

-        Not being accountable.

-        Poor time management.

-        Thinking negatively of myself.

-        Avoiding, making excuses, and withdrawing.

-        Poor self-care habits

-        My response to things - being reactive, when I should be proactive.

These past few weeks I have done a lot of thinking, reading, journaling, and reflecting, whenever I could find a moment to myself. The kids returning to school last week, has given me a few extra hours during the day to sort through all those thoughts I didn’t want to acknowledge over the past year. And there are a lot of thoughts I tucked away! Sometimes it’s like opening a filing cabinet but nothing is organized or categorized, just papers shoved and folded any which way inside the drawers.

Truth: my anxiety was through the roof. It happens, not as much as it used to, but as soon as things slowed down, I knew, I had let it spiral.

Where to start now?

Naturally, the goals I set haven’t changed:

-        Lose weight

-        Quit smoking

-        Exercise daily

-        Eat healthier

By doing these things, I should be able to improve my overall wellness both mentally and physically. However, changing my lifestyle requires the one thing that I have struggled with for as long as I can remember, self-discipline.

Now, don’t get me wrong, at various times in my life I’ve had varying degrees of self-discipline, obviously. My problem really boils down to putting others before myself, plain and simple.

It’s become a battle within myself more than anything. It’s silly really. I know what I should be doing but I cannot for the life of me get my head and body in sync long enough to do it or at least do them consistently enough to make the changes effective. How ridiculous does that sound?! I blame the whacky hormones or as my grams refers to it, “The curses of womanhood.”

I took the time to write out a daily schedule, blocking my time from five a.m. to ten p.m.  I chose to work on one thing at a time, starting with moving my wakeup time from six to five and my bedtime from whenever to ten p.m. I did this for one week. Last week, I kept the sleeping schedule and added my morning stretches and meditation (about ten minutes). So far, I’m sticking to it. Yay me!

So why am I trying to micromanage my days?

I read somewhere (my memory is terrible! If I find it, I’ll edit this post) that if you want to make real changes and build your will power, the best place to start is by addressing what you do in any given day. If you look at how you are spending your time throughout your day and are not satisfied by what you see, change one action at a time, until your day reflects your actions that will help you achieve your goals.

To me, becoming self-disciplined is part of building my will power, they go hand in hand. It’s easy to say you can practice building will power by saying no to things that are bad for you, like smoking or skipping meals or saying 'no' to toxic people, but we all know it’s not that easy. We may say no to bad things or situations sometimes but to become consistent, that takes self-discipline.

How can we become more self-disciplined?

Routines. Self-care. Healthy choices. Setting boundaries for ourselves and knowing how to respect those boundaries while enforcing them to others.  Self-accountability (if you say you are going to do something, do it!). These are all good starting places for becoming more self-disciplined.

In short, I’m starting over, again. The biggest difference this go around – I’m tackling my mindset first, something I should’ve done from the beginning!

Now, two weeks since revamping the way I was going about this journey, I’m ready to add a new thing to my daily agenda. I decided to continue with focusing on self-care and schedule time for no brainers like showering, skin care, getting dressed every morning (as opposed to only getting dressed on days I have errands, haha), and into clean pajamas every night. Again, it sounds kinda ridiculous because these should be tasks I do already but like I said earlier, my priorities obviously have not been on taking care of myself.

Here’s my current daily agenda (including habits I have already established):

5:00 AM - Wake up, five minute morning yoga, five minute morning meditation & prayer. Drink 8oz of water. Wash face (skin care), brush/floss teeth, fix hair, get dressed.

5:30 AM - Make coffee. Check Cozi App for appointments & reminders. Check personal email & work emails (do not respond unless urgent). Wake up kiddos.

6:00 AM - Walk pups, open chicken coop, feed and water animals.

6:30 AM - Make breakfast for kids. Walk to bus stop after.

7:00 AM - Drink water. Begin daily cleaning:

Pick up clutter.

Wipe off counters, sinks.

Wipe down bathrooms.

Sweep, vacuum, mop.

Simmer pot or candle.

Do daily task; laundry, detailed cleaning, bedrooms, etc.

9:00 AM - Make breakfast for self & hubby, clean up. Caregiver duties.

10:30 AM - 45 minute morning workout. Drink water.

Noon - Lunch, clean up.

12:30 PM - Walk pups, check for eggs, work,  & respond to emails.

3:00 PM - Make after school snacks, homework time, backpack check.

4:30 PM - Start cooking dinner.

5:00 PM - Dinner, clean up. Free time/family time. Walk pups, lock coop.

8:00 PM - Kiddos bedtime routine: showers, pjs, stories. Lights out.

8:15 PM - 45 minute workout.

9:00 PM - Shower, skin care, clean pjs. Layout outfit for next day. Update schedules & agendas. Charge phones, tablets. Caregiver duties. Journal/read. Nighttime sleep meditation.

10:00 PM - Lights out!

You’ll notice my agenda is full and this is on purpose. Throughout the day I line out anything I have completed and for a list lover, this helps with encouragement and my motivation to keep going. Setting timers helps keep me on task, and I even like to try to beat the clock. I included a few general things like caregiver duties, those are things I do for my husband, a wounded warrior, such as meds, log vitals, showering, dressing, cleaning medical equipment, etc. I've done those tasks for so many years now, it's second nature, and of course I help with whatever he needs throughout the day but there's specific tasks that are done morning & night. There's also daily housework and alternating specific cleaning duties - I try to keep cleaning time to around two hours a day max with the exception of quick clean ups after meals, which the kiddos help with after dinner.

My hope: I establish a routine that becomes effortless and then, my hope is to restart the 75 Hard Challenge. I figure by the end of this readjustment period; it’ll lay the groundwork for me to succeed.

I can do this. I am worth the effort and energy. I deserve to be happy. I deserve to be healthy. There is nothing I cannot achieve if I set my mind to it. And just in case no one has told you - so are you!

xxoo

Crystal